your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Randomize
