How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
