K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
