So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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