STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
