im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
