if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Is that strawberry winking at me??
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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