I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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