well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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