I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
my poor anus
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
