The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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