You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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