Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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