I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
love makes seman taste better
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
