Tell her she can't have a vagina
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
