people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize