You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
