it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
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