I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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