Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
