is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
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