My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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