Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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