Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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