Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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