He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
