if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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