They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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