the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
