My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
well you can't waste a boner
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize