I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
