glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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