do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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