she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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