Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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