Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
