How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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