I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
