The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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