does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
