If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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