Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
