I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
