it was like his penis was on wheels.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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