Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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