A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
