Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
