I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
