I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
