Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
