I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
this hospital has no fireball
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
