At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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