I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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