cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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