I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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