if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
