She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I touched a dick in church today
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
