lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
