he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
