So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
