They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
